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Top 10 Video Game Cover Art

August 11, 2010

There was a time when the gaming industry didn’t thrive as well on the internet as it does now. I remember being a young lad and walking into a department store with a pocket full of lunch money I was suppose to use for… well… lunch. But no, I scrapped together every bit I could to blow it on my beloved games. “Back in the day” gamers had only one thing to go off of – the cover art. Regardless if the game sucked or not, it was the chance you took. This was the nature of the beast then, publishers had to sell you when you looked at the box. Video game reviews now pretty much spelled out the experience before you even bought the damn game. Who needs good cover art when you have the base game logo and 10+ good review scores on the sleeve to sell the consumer on? I say, “Fuck that”. These are the top 10 games that made me reach into my pocket and lay down money as soon as I saw… you guessed it; the cover. Even if the game absolutely sucked, THIS was how you sold a game “back in the day”!

#10

Whats this? All of my favorite Nintendo characters in a single fighting game? From Nintendo? And its actually good? 4 Players? Gimme. NOW!

#9

Intriguing cover eh? This caught my eye years ago and I still can’t “unsee” it to this day. The morbid cover made me turn the box over and think, “How the fuck does someone make an Alice in Wonderland game?” Well someone did, and it was actually good. Nothing sexier than a gal with a bloody chef’s knife and a blank stare.

#8

Allied Assault really struck a cord with me. While it is one of the newest games of all the entries, it rightfully deserved a spot on this list. It broke a terribly popular trend of cereal box-sized PC game cases. Not only that, but the cover was just so damn inviting. You wanna go to war? Well guess what… Omaha Beach is where you’re going and this game did it first. The soldier looking back at you just shit his pants.

#7

Laugh it up, but you bought it too. It may have not been the “Blue Version” but you definitely picked up a copy, if not BOTH of them. You were thinking in your age of innocence, “What is Pokemon?”. Turns out its crack in a cartridge. This was before colored portable gaming systems, but who gave a shit? It was another world in the palm of your hand. I did what the cover told me to do: caught them all. Gladly.

#6

Back then, my PC could barely run this bad boy. My Voodoo video card still managed to pull through for me to enjoy this little piece of nerdy heaven. Whats not to like? There’s a bunch of Storm Troopers gunning you down while you were crossing sabers with a bad ass looking Sith. It was the first to truly deliver on the Jedi experience that some games are missing even NOW. This box art never did me any injustice.

#5

For the record, this was THEE very first game purchase I made. Why? In the early 90’s there was nothing more hardcore than two guys wearing blue and red sleeveless shirts beating up gangsters WHILE simultaneously rescuing a hot blonde babe. 2 PLAYERS YOU SAY!?!? Sweet, now I can kick some ass with a buddy who is ALSO in a sleeveless shirt. High-five.

#4

Before you jump down my neck about how Marvel vs Capcom 2 is godly and MvC1 is barely worth mentioning, hear me out. Imagine yourself as a kid walking through Funcoland (yeah… I said it, fuckin Funcoland) and you come across this fighting game. You do a double take, you rub your eyes, you squint and slap yourself to make sure you’re not dreaming. Spiderman is staring into Ryu’s soul and Ryu is returning the favor. Megaman is barely tall enough to take on Gambit. THESE MOTHER F-ers ARE GONNA KILL EACH OTHER. The greatest gaming crossover started here. The cover was a snapshot of Geekdom itself. Show some respect, this is your precious MvC2’s mum.

#3

Yes, the game is godly. Yes, its STILL one of the best RPGs ever crafted. No, Square Enix will not hear your cries for a remake. But that’s besides the point. The cover shows one of the most iconic characters in all of gaming; and you don’t even see his face. But so what? The cliched spiky hair and giant ass sword doesn’t give it away? THIS is where that cliche came from. 3 discs, Cloud staring at the Shinra building, the emerald meteor, and the good ol’ Squaresoft logo. The cover itself is barely the tip of the iceberg compared to the grand odyssey that actually played out. Arguably, this timeless cover is gaming’s answer to the White Album. In terms of cover art okay? Don’t flip.

#2

The same exact dragon logo is still used to this day for the MK franchise. In the eyes of every gamer, the red, yellow, and black color scheme BELONGED to Mortal Kombat moreso than it did to McDonald’s. Sick of throwing fireballs and simply knocking out opponents? This game said, “Don’t be a bitch, rip his head off and show it to him!” Ed Boon was the spark that ignited the video game violence controversy. How bad ass is Ed Boon? He’s still flipping Hillary Clinton the bird and making MK titles today.

#1

This is the cover of the game that has made me the geek/dork that I am today. Honestly, I’ve never beaten it. I will not lie. But as a toddler, I never played with rattles or messed with coloring books. I played Zelda. I had no idea what was going on and I was likely bad at it. But the cover itself drew me in on a promise of infinite discovery and adventure. It could have been a cover to a novel. I ran around in the game world for hours on end, being the hero I wanted to be while I was still in diapers. Or maybe, it was the sweet “gold” cartridge that drew me into playing it so much. Either way, this cover and its contents undeniably shaped me to be the proud nerd I am today.

Honorable Mentions

– Seriously, fuck this game. Easily the worst fighting game ever created. But I bought it. Why? Shaq’s on the front cover striking mean looking kung fu poses THATS WHY! Think before you ask dumb questions.

– You played it. Don’t lie.

– It was a good game of course. Far superior than the arcade version. This was 3D fighting’s deathblow to 2D in the 32-bit era. The cover gave you the impression that you were gonna actually get beaten to death.  However, it didn’t make the list because it fails to live up to the legendary status of some of the ones mentioned on the list. It was tough for me to omit this one, trust me.


– It was strange to see such anime inspired characters hang with the likes of Donald Duck and Goofy. Somehow it still fit and worked so well together. It just didn’t make the cut because the cover has yet to age well seeing as it would’ve been the newest title on the list. But someday it WILL be looked upon and measured artistically. Just gotta give it time to stew. But its still definitely worthy of mention.


– Originally, this was to be #1 on my list. Everyone and their mothers knows of this title. Its a proven FACT that 80 in 10 Americans have this cartridge in their basement somewhere. But that was the problem, this list consisted of games that I purchased solely off of cover art. Since it was a pack-in game, you literally HAD to buy it. However, its still legendary in its own right. UN-FUCKIN-DENIABLY.

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Tekken X Street Fighter to debut at GamesCom

August 6, 2010

While the title of the game may seem familiar at first glance, it isn’t the “Street Fighter X Tekken” game that was announced last month at Comic-Con. Confused? Yeah… you and a lot of other people. “Tekken X Street Fighter” is Namco’s two cents in Namco and Capcom’s recently revealed crossover fighting series.

The title suggests that Street Fighter characters will be stepping into Tekken’s arena for this iteration. Tekken director Katsuhiro Harada is set to announce the brawler at German game convention GamesCom. The event runs from August 18th – 22nd. Unfortunately, we’ll be stuck here in the States. Frowny face 😦

We’re crossing our fingers that some gameplay footage will be shown. As of right now, no character roster or release date has been revealed.

600 Home Runs, 1 Million Questions*

August 5, 2010


A-Rod...or A-Roid *ba da bum*

So Alex Roid oops.. Rodriguez finally hit career home run 600 the other day after going homer-less in his previous 237 (approx) at-bats. Personally, I hoped he would never get another pitch to hit because he is the most unlikable player in sports today.  There is something about him that I just hate but I can’t put my finger on it.

Is it because of the 252 million dollar contract he signed in Texas only to be traded to the Yanks and then signing a new deal for 275 million?

Is it because he cheated on his wife with prostitutes and strippers?

Is it because he and MADONNA were “Just Friends”?

Is it because he lied about the steroid use?

Is it because of the little slap he gave Bronson Arroyo’s tag in the 2004 ALCS?

Is it because of this photo?

I think it’s a healthy mix of all those reason why  I (and what feels like most of the nation) hate A-Rod

He’s like a Bizarro Derek Jeter; no matter what he does, Jeter will always be loved more.

I feel your pain, Fat Man

August 4, 2010

Albert Haynesworth, I owe you an apology. I thought you were just being lazy and you didn’t want to try Mike Shanahan’s conditioning test. I thought you were just being a over-paid pile of fat goo because you want to be traded to a different team where you didn’t have to run a simple drill.

Boy, was I wrong. That drill is FRICKIN’ IMPOSSIBLE. I tried to run it this morning and I have deemed the test impossible for the average fan to complete, let alone you. I feel your pain big guy. If a reasonably out of shape 22-year-old can’t run it, how can we expect a 300 pound plus, 29-year-old year old millionaire to run it. You have the $21 million already, you don’t have to pass the test. Shanahan is trying to make an example out of you but stay strong buddy. I support your boycott 100 percent and I hope all the fat guys of the world stand behind you in your time of need (or around you I guess, you are pretty much the size of a small city). Its cruel and unusual to make us fat guys run in the first place, let alone a make us run 600 yard gassers.

This Extra Ordinary Gentlemen supports Team Fat Albert.

Say It Ain’t So Brett

August 3, 2010

The man threw a lot of picks but boy could he fill out a pair of blue jeans

I can’t believe it, I don’t want to believe that Favre is actually retiring for real this time.  The man has retired a few times already but he always came back but I think he means it this time. The guy still has a cannon for an arm but I guess getting sacked a trillion times has finally caught up with him and his ankle can’t take any more abuse. He holds almost every passing record and he played in 285 straight games, the equivalent to Cal Ripken’s 2,632 consecutive game record which in football, may be impossible to break.  I guess Brett will take this time off to hunt some wild boar, hang out with his family and maybe dominate some co-ed Flag Football league somewhere.

All I can say to you Brett is happy trails and see you in the Canton, hopefully in Packer Green.

Don’t ever stop wearing those wranglers.

How Melodramatic Blue Aliens Stole My Money

July 26, 2010

The film industry was never a stranger to the concept of 3D. The movie viewing experience within the “third dimension” has been promised yesteryears ago in hopes of banking the big bucks at the box office. After a time, 3D movies mainly operated within the realm of grindhouse flicks, mostly to satisfy the audiences that still enjoyed their gory excursions into the third dimension. 3D inevitably found itself in Hollywood’s rear-view mirror. So as of late, has Hollywood rekindled its love of fooling the consumer’s eye so they don’t look into their wallets?

Where did this influx of 3D movies deviate from? What is this nonsense of a justification as to why you are charged a couple more bucks for that movie ticket? Undeniably, there has been a handful of 3D movies in recent years that may have flown under most people’s radars. Forgetful movies to the likes of The Adventures of Shark Boy & Lava Girl 3D were released to the public in 2005, but ultimately failed. Even with visionary director Robert Rodriguez at the helm and a young Taylor Lautner casted in the lead (Yeah, THAT Taylor Lautner), the concept of a 3D film failed to capture the attention of the American public.

Of course, this was until James Cameron decided to buy a solid gold jet with the blood of blue aliens. Love it or loathe it, Avatar was hyped to colossal proportions as James Cameron reportedly committed close to $300 million to the film. With a resume like Terminator 2, True Lies, and Titanic (only to name a few), this was Cameron’s self-proclaimed masterpiece.

It was the epicenter of the 3D craze. Although the final cut was met with mixed reactions. Some audiences championed the movie solely for the bleeding edge 3D; others including myself, found the story to be be bone dry and predictable. Shooting a film in 3D doesn’t make the plot and characters any less two dimensional.

Avatar for all intents and purposes, was not a terrible film. It just did not bring anything new to the table in terms of narrative. It was merely a harbinger of terrible trends to come.

Studios in Hollywood have adopted a “me too” philosophy in order to cash in on the growing trend. Nearly all new releases will be in 3D and will be at the cost of Joe Schmoe consumer; you. We all know the feeling of walking out of a bad movie. You hang your head low. It’s like going to a sporting event and your beloved team lost. It’s borderline heart-breaking. You are on the cusp of pummeling someone to death for a refund.

Tickets prices are around $10, give or take. Add in a few of dollars for that service fee if you end up buying tickets online and/or hate interacting with people. Perhaps cough up a few more dollars since the movie is in 3D as well. Ultimately, you will end up with a ticket price close to about $15 or so. Get the KY ready if you decide to order tickets ONLINE for a 3D movie in IMAX. Those cheap made in China 3D glasses are very little consolation if the movie ended up being the contents of your toilet.

This is not necessarily an attack on 3D movies, but it is in defense of the movie going public. Sure there are large number of people out there that enjoy 3D movies simply because they enjoy viewing them in 3D. However, there are still folks that are content with a pure and simple cinema experience.

It remains to be seen (har har) if the 3D movie experience will be standard or just a passing phase. 3D should not be a reason to justify higher ticket prices if it does little to enrich the viewing experience. A crap movie is still a crap movie. You don’t need all three dimensions to see that it sucks, let alone pay extra for it.

I wouldn’t mind kissing that man between the cheeks, so to speak

July 26, 2010

I was checking out my facebook news feed and I saw a friend admitting his Man Crush of Don Draper from the show Mad Men and it got me thinking about my own man crushes. After some serious thought, I was able to narrow down the list of to my top two Bro-Bachelors. Honestly, I think about about my man crushes a lot.

(I apologize to Chase Utley, Thomas Lennon and Ewan McGregor. You guys are fantastic and I’m sure you will make some other lucky guy very happy with their man crush)

Mike Rowe versus Paul Rudd  

Man, this is such a tough decision. I think both guys would make great man crushes. Mike has this manly ruggedness about himself and his voice sounds like what I’d imagine a handshake would sound like. Paul seems like he would help you move, while at the same time, thinking of hundreds of ways to call you Gay. Both guys are hilarious with their sarcastic wit and I’m not afraid to say that both guys are pretty damn handsome.

Its like my own Sophie’s Choice.